This One's for Scottie.

"Scottie, do you like being gay?" I asked, wondering. JUST wondering.
"What do you mean?"
"Like, is it fun?"
I leaned my ear into the ear piece, waiting painstakingly for the slightest sound. It's not that I'm being rude or anything. I'm not trying to be. I'm just really, really curious. It's like asking if blonds have more fun. Which is a cliche. Ha, that one was for Ms. Lee.
"Well, I dunno. Is being straight fun?" he backfired. Ouch.
"Yeah, but it can be frustrating at times."
"What do you mean?"
"Like, girls make guys horny. And when a guy's horny, they get boners and....well....I guess guys can do that to guys too, but. WELL. It's like, different. Like..what the fuck. Like when a gay guy and a gay guy are both playing the game, no one can win. It's like legos. Trying to push the studded side of one brick into the studded side of another brick, hoping they fit. Which they don't. Girls and guys fit naturally. Well..I guess you can have butt sex, but then again that's not natural at all. At least I don't think it is. Like-"
"DUYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!"
"WHAAT?! All I'm trying to say is that I think being gay makes you interesting."
He laughs like a monkey choking on a banana. Score.
"HAHA! Duy!! I think I'm going to put that as one of my favorite quotes on my facebook."