at around 7 in the morning, I wake up to the insistent pestering of my younger sister. She's very fond of the "light trick" which is understandable because it works every time.
" Hey! Hey! Wake up!
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
I miss you...=(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSBc7UPGInI
I watched that and HELLA missed you...=[...I cried lol, fuck me...I called you but you didn't pick up. I miss those nights when I would just call you late at night, no matter what time, and we would talk. It was so cute. I loved spending time with you today. Thanks for buying me cheese and ice cream =] You're like the fucking best girlfriend in the whole universe. I loved going running with you, you looked so fucking cute in a t-shirt, my shorts, and my mom's reeboks haha..so fucking cute...I'm sorry if I give you a weird look sometimes, I'm working on it. It's not me, so please don't blame me. It's something else that I can't get a hold of yet, just inner shit perhaps, or subconscious shit, but I am trying to understand it more. It's probably just my judgmental frame of mind sometimes; can be a real douche, my mind. Anyways, I love you a lot dude. FUCKING love you. I envy you so much. I love how you're able to enjoy the littlest things, its fucking amazing. Like when you laugh out loud and like hit things like your knee when something's funny. Its so genuine, and infectious. I dunno how you do it. You're just so cute dude, so many things I can recall. That time we got high and you were acting hella weird lol. "hey there sonny..." being a granny. Fucking adorable...Or earlier when you were imitating me, man I suck at imitating you haha. I used to be better, I dunno what happened. I want to get to know you more and more and moree =] I love it, I can't get enough! Fuck dude, I just, man I wish my memory is better, I need to look into memory improvement stuff. It's definitely something that can be improved on, just gotta read into it more. I love you so much baby, I never want you to feel insecure or unloved. I'm sorry if I'm still not getting everything right, but just know that I'm trying. I love you a lot, and I love how you know me so well. You can call me out pretty fucking good I have to say, it's fucking hella attractive...fucking hot. lol. You hella make me nervous and stuff sometimes, like you leave me dumbfounded or tongue-twisted haha. I fucking love you dude. I have so much to learn from you. Seriously, you've taught me so much homie, I really apprecaite it. I just want to spend more time with you to
I watched that and HELLA missed you...=[...I cried lol, fuck me...I called you but you didn't pick up. I miss those nights when I would just call you late at night, no matter what time, and we would talk. It was so cute. I loved spending time with you today. Thanks for buying me cheese and ice cream =] You're like the fucking best girlfriend in the whole universe. I loved going running with you, you looked so fucking cute in a t-shirt, my shorts, and my mom's reeboks haha..so fucking cute...I'm sorry if I give you a weird look sometimes, I'm working on it. It's not me, so please don't blame me. It's something else that I can't get a hold of yet, just inner shit perhaps, or subconscious shit, but I am trying to understand it more. It's probably just my judgmental frame of mind sometimes; can be a real douche, my mind. Anyways, I love you a lot dude. FUCKING love you. I envy you so much. I love how you're able to enjoy the littlest things, its fucking amazing. Like when you laugh out loud and like hit things like your knee when something's funny. Its so genuine, and infectious. I dunno how you do it. You're just so cute dude, so many things I can recall. That time we got high and you were acting hella weird lol. "hey there sonny..." being a granny. Fucking adorable...Or earlier when you were imitating me, man I suck at imitating you haha. I used to be better, I dunno what happened. I want to get to know you more and more and moree =] I love it, I can't get enough! Fuck dude, I just, man I wish my memory is better, I need to look into memory improvement stuff. It's definitely something that can be improved on, just gotta read into it more. I love you so much baby, I never want you to feel insecure or unloved. I'm sorry if I'm still not getting everything right, but just know that I'm trying. I love you a lot, and I love how you know me so well. You can call me out pretty fucking good I have to say, it's fucking hella attractive...fucking hot. lol. You hella make me nervous and stuff sometimes, like you leave me dumbfounded or tongue-twisted haha. I fucking love you dude. I have so much to learn from you. Seriously, you've taught me so much homie, I really apprecaite it. I just want to spend more time with you to
omgomgomgicanwriteastoryrightnow
I lit the J at the corner of La Bella Dr. and Chemin De Reviere. It burned nicely. No, actually, it burned perfectly. I inhaled, and inhaled, and inhaled. Hold. Hold. Hold more. Exhale deeply. Repeat. The J twinkles slightly in the wind as I move silently. My destination? I don't know exactly, but I think its more about the journey at this point (forreals). I ended up circling the entire neighborhood. The world around me was all quiet, dead, abandoned. At one point, I talked to the shadows and no one answered back. We went upstairs, wait wtf? How did I get here, oh yeah, I'm inside my house already. Basically what happened was, oh, wait, we gotta reverse this. Hold up. *Whiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr* Hey, alright cool. So basically I started whistling on my way back to my house. I stopped at the front of the garage and started to beatbox. The beats came out all different-like, all diverse and different. They'd be some simple melodies or like just simple, monotonic notes (is that even a word?) and then there's the convoluted and complex, like chords on a guitar. At some point I vaulted into frays of the wild and flowed like no other. I flew like a bird and gunned down my enemies with my weapon of choice, my very own words. They were lost and scattered but came out fast like a sputtering tommy gun. They would also come out slow, thoughtful and ideal, coming out like a opinionted well-thought phrase.
you're a fucking prince duy
I don't even know where to begin. It's just so, so embarrassing to even begin describing what the fuck it is that is wrong with me. I really like her, I do. It's a fact, no doubt in my mind. Yet, at times I question what the fuck it IS I really want. Do I want her just for fun? Or is it more? I think its more. It's obviously more. But is it obvious to her? I mean my sexually demented personality can really, I'm sure, overcloud my quirky and humorous persona at times. I'm not a sex freak, honest to God. It's just, I guess I get carried away on the Hormonal River and start using my dick instead of my brain. It's so fucking embarrassing! Like God damn. I thought you were better than this Duy. Is this what you've really become? A fucking Sex Freak? a;ekjw;ekfjw;fjelewefl..
I'm too horny for christsake, and I think it creeps the fuck outta her, but I still fuckin do it, and that's what's killing me. I wouldn't want her to do anything she didn't want to do. I told her that in the beginning, when we were talking about this kinda stuff, this...sex stuff. I remember telling,"Babes, yeah. No sex. Of course! I mean, I understand you know? We don't have to do anything you don't want to do..." and the best part? She believed me. She FUCKING believed me. God. And you know what? I believed me too. But in all reality,I'm such a fucking douche. I can't even control my own body, so how could I control my life? Or moreover, how could I safeguard the life of another person?
This whole thing doesn't even make sense. I like her a lot, more than anybody I've ever liked, yet I have trouble being nice to her. What I'm saying is, it doesn't add up. Why would I want to hurt the ONE person that I would NEVER want to hurt to begin with? Like I said, the math's fucked up. It DOESN'T make sense. This whole thing just drives me nuts. I mean, she's done so much for me. SO much. I can't even begin to like list out all of thing she's done for ME. I don't fucking appreciate what's given to me, I'm a spoiled, selfish little pig who expects to be served and crowned king every time and anytime he wants. I'm tired of this bullshit. Duy, if you truly and deeply cared for her, you'd fucking do better, WAY better, than whatever the fuck you're doing now. So fucking do it.
I'm too horny for christsake, and I think it creeps the fuck outta her, but I still fuckin do it, and that's what's killing me. I wouldn't want her to do anything she didn't want to do. I told her that in the beginning, when we were talking about this kinda stuff, this...sex stuff. I remember telling,"Babes, yeah. No sex. Of course! I mean, I understand you know? We don't have to do anything you don't want to do..." and the best part? She believed me. She FUCKING believed me. God. And you know what? I believed me too. But in all reality,I'm such a fucking douche. I can't even control my own body, so how could I control my life? Or moreover, how could I safeguard the life of another person?
This whole thing doesn't even make sense. I like her a lot, more than anybody I've ever liked, yet I have trouble being nice to her. What I'm saying is, it doesn't add up. Why would I want to hurt the ONE person that I would NEVER want to hurt to begin with? Like I said, the math's fucked up. It DOESN'T make sense. This whole thing just drives me nuts. I mean, she's done so much for me. SO much. I can't even begin to like list out all of thing she's done for ME. I don't fucking appreciate what's given to me, I'm a spoiled, selfish little pig who expects to be served and crowned king every time and anytime he wants. I'm tired of this bullshit. Duy, if you truly and deeply cared for her, you'd fucking do better, WAY better, than whatever the fuck you're doing now. So fucking do it.
at precisely...
6:02PM on Tuesday, January 12th, 2009, Duy was noted as being unhorny, a term doctors refer to as being "bored" or "sexually dormant". When Duy was asked to do an interview, he quickly declined, announcing that," there isn't enough time. I have to go out and experience life before my dragon comes alive again. sorry." An optimistic and cheery fellow, Duy Tu resides in the quiet city of San Jose, a city home to over a million horny bastards Duy calls, "San Hoes". He is colorful in personality and fiery in looks. He's got HELLA skills as San Hoes would call it.
"Uhmmmmmmmmmm....."
I wondered. "Yeah, I think I'll have a large number 9."
"For here or to go?"
"For here."
"Okay."
He heads over to the fountain area and gathers up a large cup for me. AFter a
"For here or to go?"
"For here."
"Okay."
He heads over to the fountain area and gathers up a large cup for me. AFter a
"Duy. You. Can't. Leave. Yet."
"What? No. I have to! I'm late! I need to go."
"You have to stay here for fifteen minutes." Hands grab me and pull me down into a chair. I'm force fed pretzels.
"Damn you guys..."
"What did you say?"
"Oh. Nothing." I munched on my pretzels and downed a water bottle and a can of orange juice. About twenty minutes earlier I was laid back in a recliner with my feet in the air. A man dressed in white was scrubbing away at the inside of my elbow. scrapescrapescrape.
"What is that stuff?" I asked the white bed sheet.
"Oh uh just....," he went on about sterilizing or something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
"You have to stay here for fifteen minutes." Hands grab me and pull me down into a chair. I'm force fed pretzels.
"Damn you guys..."
"What did you say?"
"Oh. Nothing." I munched on my pretzels and downed a water bottle and a can of orange juice. About twenty minutes earlier I was laid back in a recliner with my feet in the air. A man dressed in white was scrubbing away at the inside of my elbow. scrapescrapescrape.
"What is that stuff?" I asked the white bed sheet.
"Oh uh just....," he went on about sterilizing or something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
if youre on one side or the other you see one side more
if you step back and youre not on either side, you can see the flaws of both and the pros of both
so you can act accordingly
no entitlement
grey jedi
ronin
nomadic
exile
outcast
dogmatic
to know the force you need to learn everything good and bad
jedi can get passive
so like they dont wanna join wars
passivity is a crime at times too
Today
Report • 11:24pm
heyy
Report • 11:25pm
heyyyyy
Report • 11:25pm
how you doing honay
Report • 11:25pm
i am doing okayy
what about you?
Report • 11:26pm
good, alrightt
are you missing me less each day?
Report • 11:27pm
am I supposed to say yes to make you feel better?
Report • 11:27pm
no
i guess thats a no
Report • 11:28pm
ding ding we have a winner!
Report • 11:28pm
=\
vivian, i thought i was doing the right thing by leaving you, but im just really confused
i keep thinking im like this really bad nasty guy, and me loving you and caring for you so much - even if i dont show it in a defined gesture or nice manner - didnt want seeing you hurt anymore
but then im thinking, okay cool, you're leaving her, tahts what you have to do, you have to distance yourself from her to stop the pain
but like, it obviously doesnt work that way
becaues of emotions and stuff, but i was thinking more of the entire thing
like me hurting you on a global scale compared to a local like mistreatment here or there
I was thinking about day to day stuff, stuff i didnt get right, blah blah,
and call it insecurities or what not, i just didnt want you to experience some of my behaviors
its confusing later, a day in, not even, you start htinking, wait. did i give up too easily?
you start losing track of all your firm arguements for breaking up, all the statistics, the logistical data you collected
all of your fundamental ideas behind why you should stop dating this girl because of your need to protect her from yourself
was i tricked? was i being insecure about my behaviors?
I dont know. I think I need time to grow, but I hate yout o be on the dirty end of the stick
that has to witness that growth
its long, tedious, and a bit fucked up
Report • 11:35pm
:(
Report • 11:24pm
heyy
Report • 11:25pm
heyyyyy
Report • 11:25pm
how you doing honay
Report • 11:25pm
i am doing okayy
what about you?
Report • 11:26pm
good, alrightt
are you missing me less each day?
Report • 11:27pm
am I supposed to say yes to make you feel better?
Report • 11:27pm
no
i guess thats a no
Report • 11:28pm
ding ding we have a winner!
Report • 11:28pm
=\
vivian, i thought i was doing the right thing by leaving you, but im just really confused
i keep thinking im like this really bad nasty guy, and me loving you and caring for you so much - even if i dont show it in a defined gesture or nice manner - didnt want seeing you hurt anymore
but then im thinking, okay cool, you're leaving her, tahts what you have to do, you have to distance yourself from her to stop the pain
but like, it obviously doesnt work that way
becaues of emotions and stuff, but i was thinking more of the entire thing
like me hurting you on a global scale compared to a local like mistreatment here or there
I was thinking about day to day stuff, stuff i didnt get right, blah blah,
and call it insecurities or what not, i just didnt want you to experience some of my behaviors
its confusing later, a day in, not even, you start htinking, wait. did i give up too easily?
you start losing track of all your firm arguements for breaking up, all the statistics, the logistical data you collected
all of your fundamental ideas behind why you should stop dating this girl because of your need to protect her from yourself
was i tricked? was i being insecure about my behaviors?
I dont know. I think I need time to grow, but I hate yout o be on the dirty end of the stick
that has to witness that growth
its long, tedious, and a bit fucked up
Report • 11:35pm
:(
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