"Shhhhhh," I tell them.

"I gotta tell you guys something."
They all lean in.

We were at Dim Sum practice, told them how I had to go,and get ready, head to hospital, how my sister whispered to me about the doctor saying she'd die soon, in a week or two, how my mom told me it was nothing, not wanting me to find out, my dad asking me about AP exams and when they were, and us getting there and me getting out and placing my hand on my dad's shoulder, telling him "you know I love you, right ba?" "yeah" us walking through the door, me noticing the diamond shapes in the linoleum, "oh I guess they're not only white after all" they were a mix of orange, blue, and white. We took the elevator to the second floor and step out and see Co Thuy, Uncle Don, some lady, my cousin Linda. Chu Nam comes later and the adults talk and they're concerned. My Grandma bleeding out the mouth, morphine, low blood pressure, off the meds, damn. Everyone's concerned. Again, damn. Chu Tai comes out, I go in. Room 2012, Crictical Unit. Shit. She's there alright, and I talk to her, not sure if she can hear me, her fingers are cold, her heart rates down, I'm nervous, my own heart hurts. Linda comes in, we both stare at my grandma, me on one side, her on the other. We stand there and watch and talk a bit but mostly watch and I'm sad but I don't cry. Uncle John's with us, he tells us about the nurse and the situation and everything. I cringe a lot, tapping my shoes against the floor, looking around, not sure how to react to anything, everything. Something. A nurse comes in, says excuse me, walks over to her left shoulder, peels back the fabric, sticks in a needle quick and done. Disposed. She talks to my uncle as she moves over to Ba Noi's stomach and attaches something to the tube connected to her stomach. She pulls back, sucking fluids out of her belly, and calls my uncle to look at the blood clots that were coming out. She's bleeding in her stomach. I look away, and so does Linda. I leave later, meet back with the family, more people showed up, getting crowded. I sit down, but after awhile tears start streaming out and I turn my head away, my dad's hand makes contact with my head. He's standing above me asking me about my grandma but I couldn't answer, grab my sister, head downstairs, cafeteria. Fries. One dollar, my sister gets some ice cream, right before we head to the cash register, plop. Ice cream, face down, on the floor. Clean up, "sorry." "It's alright," says the cashier. Rings me up, one dollar. Ketchup, sit down, eat. She asks me questions, I give her blunt answers. She goes and gets water, and brings back three straws. She pulls one out of its casing and takes it, swings it around into a knot and pulls. It comes free, no knots. "I did Ba Noi." I grab mines, thinking, what if I do Ba Noi, but it doesn't work. I pull apart the top and slid out the straw. I grab the paper casing, knot it up, and pull. No knots. Clean. Two, clean, and no knots. She's definitely thinking of us. "You think she is?" "yeah."

I think she is.