Jesus,

I'm nervous. I don't ever remember being this nervous before. When the hell was I ever this nervous? I poked my head around her desk, stuck my nose in every random nook and cranny, and shuffled through huge piles of miscellaneous papers. I would have guessed a teacher to be more organized, correction, I would have guessed an english teacher to be more organized. He stood a long ways beside me practically on the other side of the room, eying me every now and then but quickly dismissing me as a kid who was 'just plain nosy.' Shit! Where the fuck does she keep her fucking essays? "Alright class. Take your seats," the sub barked. Oh no! Oh tragedy! Tragedy! Defeat is the only word I know! My ears bend back, eyes teary, lips trembling; I head back to my desk, tail between my legs. "Alright class, my name is....blahblahblahblahblah......we have another essay to write..blahblahblah....45 minutes...blahblahblah...turn in at the end of the period. Mmkay? Get started folks!"

Wait. W-w-what? Another, another essay? Holy FUCK! Why didn't anyone tell me we were going to get a stupid sub today? Why? I'm screwed beyond belief! There's no way Ms. Hermatz is going to accept my late essay on Wednesday. No way! I knew I should have done my essay and had it turned it on time on Monday! Fuck. Okay. Okay. There's no point in beating yourself over the head with this shit, let's just get started on the new essay then we'll worry about the other essay. Wait, why am I talking like there's two of us in this conv - fuck nevermind! Let's do this.

After I finished my essay, I had about three minutes to spare and in that interval of time, I kid you not, my brain was working at the speed of light. I whipped out a fresh piece of binder paper, grabbed my Dixon Ticonderoga pencil, and threw out all I had into probably one of the most prodigious, the most amazing, the most stupendous, fantastical, phenomenal and unbelievably wonderful and astounding letter ever written in the entire fucking world - no! The fucking Universe! BABY! *breathing heavily* Haha. So I finish writing this [insert long list of previous adjectives] letter and the bell rings. Perfect timing, perfect. I quickly fold the paper in two and on the front flap, squabble: To Ms. Hermatz. I grab my essay along with my award-worthy letter and run up to Mr....Mr....Fuck it, I run up to the sub and hand him the paper and instruct him to place it on Ms. Hermatz's desk. He nods his head and says,"Will do!" Wow, the sub's not such a bad guy!
The next day in Ms. Hermatz's class after another 45 minute essay - what's up with all these essays? - I walk up to the front of the class to return a borrowed pencil. Ms. Hermatz, who just happens to be conveniently situated right beside the pencil box, says to me," I got your letter by the way, Duy." I blink stupidly as if I didn't understand. I play it like I totally forgot I had even written her a letter."Oh yeah? Thanks," I manage to say. Wait. What? Did you just say 'thanks'? What the fuck? That doesn't even make sense Duy! God kill me now! But then she says," You're a really sweet guy Duy" and basically turns everything up and around. I reply with a few more 'thanks' and cough out a short laugh. I skip back to my desk feeling sweet as cherry pie. =]