BRACEFACE no more...

Tuesday, December 18, 2007
(Stolen from my xanga)


BRACEFACE



It's gone. All of it. I know I'm supposed to be super crazy hyphy and everything, but I'm just not feeling it. It's like a part of me is missing. I'm SO depressed I don't even know if I can go another day without the feeling of metal wires running across the fronts of my teeth. I find it a little ironic that the retainers don't aid in "retaining" my emotions. I hunger for that geeky look in the mirror I get every time I smile. IT'S AWESOME. it WAS awesome. It was a symbol of my youth. My innocence. My HAPPINESS. Now its gone. And so is my happiness. My strong facade of confidence vanished along with my dental appliances. I was the coolest kid in school repping the tightest (literally) teeth. I walked around like no tomorrow brandishing my teeth and showing off their shiny exterior. I was hot. SUPER hot. DUYHOT. The only kind of REAL hot. It feels awkward now. As I sit here typing away I continue to swish my tongue back and forth on my front teeth. Slowly bringing them around into the back. Drats. They're gone too. I was hoping they'd forget the ones in the back. My braces. I tried hard to keep my mouth as small as possible, but the evil scientist was stronger than I. She has power over me. She had power over my tiny pieces of wire and rubber bands. I was powerless. Now as I think back, I wonder. Could I have done something? COULD I? Maybe I should have given her the old "duy charm" or something. Make her infatuated with me. Then we would've fallen in love and move to an uncharted island off the coast of Puerto Rico. Then we'd be married in an old Spanish church left behind from early western exploration and proclaim our love for each other under starlit skies of dark dark black with the faintest hint of blue in the far off mist. We'd stare at each other's eyes, and kiss. Then a flood would ravage our island and she'd be swept to sea.Yeah. I should have done that so she would've left my braces alone! FUCK DUY! YOU'RE A FUCKING AARTARD! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST DO THAT! AT LEAST IT WAS DOABLE! fuck me. NO. NO MORE OF THIS FUCKING "YOU SUCK" AND "FUCK ME" BUSINESS DUY. Enough is enough. I'm going to start an online business of some sort. yeah! And I'm going to hire people who have the same desires as me, the same lust as me. People who love braces and can't live without them! I'm going to start an underground replacement braces market where we make braces for those who don't need them for teeth straightening but for LIFE STRAIGHTENING. After that I'll move to hollywood and become a superBRACEFACE star or some sort and be living in the life of braces. I can see me now. All those girls on my shoulders. All of them...wearing fake braces. I'll start a trend! THE BRACES TREND. Everyone will start going "nice braces! where'd you get them?" "Oh I got these at hollister" Yeah! I'll start selling these at local clothing retailers as accessories! THEY'LL BE THE NEXT STUNNA SHADES! I'LL BE SO RICH AFTER MY GRAMMY NOMINATION FOR MY TOP DOUBLE PLATNIUM ALBUM "BRACES MAKE YOU COOL" AND MY SUPER OSCAR CRAZY MOVIE STARRING WILL SMITH " DUY IS LEGEND" THAT I'LL BUY THE ENTIRE WORLD AND SEND ROCKETS INTO SPACE THAT SOMEHOW CONSTRUCT A ROUND PIECE OF WIRE ACROSS THE WORLD LIKE A HALO AND ENCLOSE THE WORLD IN A RING JUST LIKE JUPITER! EXCEPT ITS A PAIR OF... YOU GUESSED IT! BRACES!