Meet Stress, the Mood-Killer, Life-Stealer

Baby I'm sorry I make you think I'm bi-polar. I'm not sure, maybe I am, but I haven't looked into it. Say what you must, I take no pity. The past few weeks have been stressful. Besides my inability to chill out and just relax, I have an irrational disproportional and merciless toleration towards you being a total lag-machine. Even the words I'm using are cruel and mean, and honest to god - just for effect, 'cause I'm an atheist - downright dirty. I swear it's not who I am. The truth is that I'm bad dude. I'm so bad. I'm so bad at balancing my time. I feel so constrained when I'm back home, it sucks man. It sucks so bad. I feel trapped, persecuted left and right. Constant inner conflicts, I just can't do it. For the sake of it, I just can't. I trip balls over little shit, yeah. I get it plenty. The fucking fact of the matter is that when I'm back in San Jose, I'm happy. When I'm down in Irvine I realize where my true home is. It's here. I love it here. The environment. No not the trees, evergreen's cool and all, in a natural sense. In the social sense is where I'm hitting to; that is where the home is for me. I love my friends back here. I love my parents. I FUCKING love you. I miss you guys like crazy, and when I'm back here I'm fucked in the ass, I'm sure its a common problem but I don't ask. None of my friends are interested in visiting their parents 'cept Ak, but I feel him cause he lives down south and his parents are far away - his dad's in Taiwan for pete's sakes. I feel the dilemma, and hate in to its full extreme. I fucked up a lot in the past with my family. My parents are old, I need to tend to them, talk to them, socialize with them, but I'm not. I'm not doing a good enough job. I feel I am you see, then I feel good that the time I'm spending with Vivian is so well deserved. It should be felt at 100%. Dude this girl is amazing. Love her so much I'm mad, raving bout her bo-dy, craving that sweet bo-dy